If you’ve read my brief bio you know that I hate working out. That has not changed, but what I failed to mention about myself is that I love competition. Even if I’ve never tried something, I will talk smack about winning at it. Bake off, board games, sports of all kinds? Sure, I’ll play, and I’ll win (at least that’s what I’ll tell you, but I rarely ever actually win anything.) I’ve even been known to make up fake competitions and then tell people that I won. I once convinced a friend of mine that a church pot luck dinner was actually a chili cook-off. We both brought our chili, then, after the activity, I told her that I had been pronounced then winner. She believed me until, upon expressing her disappointment to others, she was informed that there had been no such contest. This sparked an ongoing feud involving a lot of back and forth pranks that we still like to laugh about.
So, a few weeks ago my chili cook-off nemesis invited me to train for a sprint triathlon that takes place in Gulf Shores in September. Of course my competitive nature prevented me from saying anything but “Heck Yeah!” Since then a ton of friends have been recruited to participate, which has added gallons of fuel to my competitive fire. So, I’ve been training for 3 weeks. But guess what. It sucks. I’ve been biking, running and/or swimming 5 to 6 days a week and I feel like I’m getting nowhere. My running pace isn’t improving, every time I swim I feel like I am going to drown, and clipping my feet into my bike feels like a death sentence. But I’m sticking with it.
In preparation for my triathlon, I ran a 5K race Saturday morning, only the 3rd one I’ve ever done. It was hosted by Chick-fil-a, which is a place I love, so I was excited about getting some generous giveaways. I dressed up in cow garb and a tutu to try and win the Costume Spirit Award, because, though I was hopeful that I could win my age division for speed, in all honesty speed isn’t my thing…yet.
So, I woke up before the sun on a Saturday and got ready to go. With my face painted, my tutu snug around my waist, my cow hat on and my family by my side, we drove up to the event. We immediately noticed that NO ONE else was dressed up for the race. This was my first rodeo, but I had been told that everyone went all out for these things, but the rest of the runners on Saturday must not have gotten the memo. That was fine by me, though. I have no problem dressing up and acting the fool if there is a prize involved. So, I registered myself at the Spirit Costume Contest tent. Then I smiled at every race employee I saw, hoping one of them was the judge.
When it was time for the race to start, I positioned myself at the starting line. The gun was fired and I was off. I ran (not walked) the entire race in my cow costume, sweating my fur off in 90° heat, but I did it with a smile on my face because I knew I had the costume prize in the bag, and my family and I were hoping the prize was nothing less than a year of free Chick-fil-a. I crossed the finish line with a time of 32:06, which is almost 60 seconds faster than my normal pace.
When the winners were announced, sure enough, I did not place in the top 3 for my age division, but I knew the Spirit Costume Contest was calling my name, because no one in the race came close to being as decked out as I was. The time came for the Spirit Costume Prize winner to be announced. The Hubster started recording, people were staring at me expectantly because they too noticed I was the most elaborately dressed. I was on my toes ready to walk up and accept my gift basket. And the winner is…The Carver Family! SAY WHAT?! I watched as a completely uncostumed family of 5 went up and accepted my prize. People around me leaned over and said, “that should be your prize.” Which I completely agreed with given no one in the Carver family looked even remotely bovine! I waited until every single race winner had been announced thinking there must be another costume prize, but there wasn’t. I even waited to see if I got a door prize. I didn’t. My kids were crying because I had convinced them that free Chick-fil-a food was right around the corner for us, but instead we were going home empty handed.
Two of the young girls from the Carver family approached me with one of their several bouquets of flowers (they had also won best times in their age divisions.) The sweet little girls extended their flowers out to me and said, “Your costume looks great and we want you to have these.”
They were kind and cute, but I really wanted to snatch those stupid flowers out of their little hands, chuck them onto the ground, and stomp on them while screaming “I want my free Chick-fil-a!” But I’m not a sore loser, nor am I a monster. So, I kindly smiled and said, “Thank you, that’s very sweet. But you should keep them.”
To which they rubbed salt into my wound by saying, “No really, it’s fine. We won a lot of flowers.”
Again, I felt like yelling, “Then you won’t mind if I just tear these stupid flowers to bits and then throw them in your unpainted faces!” But instead I plastered on a smile and simply said, “Okay, well thank you very much.” Then we stood there and smiled awkwardly at each other for several minutes. Finally they left, but I wasn’t done. I had to ask the race coordinator what I missed. Was there some rule about the contest that I didn’t follow? Was I too slow to win? Was I not enthusiastic enough? Did I not pay some fee?
I approached the race director and said, “Excuse me! Look at me!? Do you not realize that I was the only person wearing a legit costume here today? What on earth is your definition of a costume contest?!” Just kidding, I didn’t say that, but I wanted too. What I actually said was, “Hi. This was my first Chick-fil-a run and I was under the impression that other people would be dressed up, but I didn’t see anyone else in costume. What exactly is the criteria for the Costume Spirit Contest?”
To which she explained that there was some rubric consisting of costume (check), props (I had a cow bell and a Vivlett with a cow hat, so check), and enthusiasm (I smiled and mooed as I crossed the finish line, so check).
Then she said, “Yeah, your costume would be a winner at almost any other Chick-fil-a race, but the Carver family comes early every year and sets up an entire display. They had costumes on and all kinds of props.”
I had seen no such display and I told her as much. She said, “That’s too bad. It was really something, but they took it all down and changed clothes before the race started.”
Knowing this made me feel a little better, but still…I ran, sweat and stayed in my costume all morning, just sayin’.
After pouting for half the day, I decided to rededicate myself to my upcoming triathlon, the real reason I entered that 5K to begin with. But first, I went to TJ Maxx and did some therapy shopping.
There might not be free Chick-fil-a up for grabs at the triathlon in September, but if I beat my chili cook-off nemesis, at least I’ll win bragging rights, which is a much tastier victory.
Check back for my tri training updates.
As for next year, watch out Carver Family. I’m coming for you!
